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Change You Can Believe In: Yourself
One of my friends has been sending out a lot of inspirational quotes and excerpts lately in an effort to increase our daily positivity and well…hustle. It’s such a simple thing, but in the grand scheme of life it has an impact on all of us. As most of you know, it’s easy to get caught up the flurry of work, school, relationship drama, sports, or some combination of those and other time absorbers. Even the most optimistic and spiritual of us still find time or reason to complain about where we are or how we’re not happy with some particular circumstance(s) in our daily life. Where would Eff ‘Em Friday be if everyone were totally and completely satisfied with their lives? We’d probably have changed the name of it to Fluffy Friday, Fantastic Friday, or some other corny variation. Why corny? Well, happiness and joy often lead to corniness and cheesiness.
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I’m digressing like a man who came home smelling like lady juice and is being questioned by his boo about his whereabouts. Anyway, my friend shared the following tidbit from The 50th Law by Robert Greene:
People judge you by appearances, the image you project through your actions, words, and style. If you do not take control of this process, then people will see and define you the way they want to, often to your detriment. You might think being consistent with this image will make others respect and trust you, but in fact it is the opposite — over time you seem predictable and weak. Consistency is an illusion anyway — each passing day brings changes within you. You must not be afraid to express these evolutions. The powerful learn early in life that they have the freedom to mold their image, fitting the needs and moods of the moment. In this way, they keep others off balance and maintain an air of mystery.
Based on the fact that I thought this blurb was worthy of putting in a post, you can tell I like it. My first thought after reading this was that I needed to recreate myself if I wanted to progress to the next level in several areas of my life. Mr. Greene suggests that people need to consistently reinvent themselves. This got me to thinking about the concepts of people undergoing change (not sex change), turning into a new person, or maintaining a certain level of consistency. I wrote a post a while back for Single Male stating that I believe people can and should change in the context of a relationship if it’s for the greater good. Of course there are those who come from the school of thought where a person should never change for anybody else; and if they do change, it’s just for show and they’re being fake.
You can even take the example of someone who starts going to church and seems to become a different person overnight. The first thought from others typically isn’t “Wow. Marcus really is trying to become a better person.” It’s usually something more along the lines of “We’ll see how long this lasts” and is followed by a period where everything the person does is seen as a temporary change before reverting to his former and “real” self. Another example is someone that gets into a serious relationship and suddenly doesn’t want to indulge in debauchery anymore because he or she doesn’t want to risk ruining what they have. His or her friends may not like the change, but he or she deemed it necessary for their success.
As my worlds—both online and real life—have started to collide, I’ve given a lot more thought to this concept of change and reinventing myself. I have a real pic posted online attached to my alias and I’m starting to bump into people that read the blog when I’m out and about. It’s becoming more and more obvious that people expect certain things from me. And a lot of what they expect is based on what I portray here. There are people that see me in multiple social and professional settings and think that I’m a bit fake because I can adapt to my audience. Do I keep it real with people? Yes, but realness is relative to the relationship and the environment. Some people don’t get it and think it’s a weakness or insecurity showing. I think it’s one of my greatest gifts.
I’ll say it again. Change is not overrated. It’s critical to success and anyone that refuses to change will fail or not be able to attain their highest level of happiness. Reinventing oneself consistently doesn’t make someone fake, lame, or manipulative. Granted, all of us have probably been viewed this way by someone else regardless of what we said or did to the contrary. And lastly to reiterate Mr. Greene’s point, don’t let things or people shape you. Shape yourself.
What do you think about the excerpt above? Do you consistently try to figure out how to reinvent yourself? Do you care what others think of you outside of a professional setting, or are you just you across the board no matter who you’re around? How do you define realness and being fake? And as usual, other thoughts are welcome.